what does God have in store for 2011...?

i never truly felt fulfillment in something until i became a stay-at-home mom. knowing that this is what God designed me for and that He would bless me in ways unimaginable as long as i gave it my all and praised Him and thanked Him for the ability to serve my family. so...with that in mind, here is my #1 new years resolution. TO BE THE WIFE AND MOMMY THE LORD HAS CALLED ME TO BE. A GODLY LOVING MOTHER TO MY CHILDREN. AND A SUPPORTIVE LOVING WIFE THAT SERVES HER HUSBAND COMPLETELY AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY. i truly believe if i can accomplish this without any doubt or laziness or selfishness getting in the way, than this next year will be the best yet!


among my other resolutions, we have, dressing more "mommy like", but on our budget its so much easier to just throw on an old college t-shirt and jeans. we'll see if this one holds. i'm also determined to keep up with my blog...at the very least on a weekly basis. another is, find a creative and smart way to make some money...i have many options, it's just a matter of choosing one and going for it. and i really want to try harder to spend less time behind the camera and more time enjoying the kodak moments...especially since i will have 2 kiddos now.

i pray this year will be better than the last, that its full of joy and peace and love and protection and comfort from up above. HaPPy NeW YeaR!

feeling impatient

as the new year approaches, so does our new baby! i'm ready to pop this little guy out and show him just how much his mommy and daddy and big sister love him. i went to the doctor a couple days ago when i was at 35 1/2 weeks, and he said i'm 1 cm dilated and he thinks the baby is about 6 lbs. so i'm close. but not that close. so it begins, we are implementing "operation i'm impatient so i'm going to start doing things to induce labor". except for caster-oil. that i will not try. we'll see if anything works for us this time around. with our daughter...we had no such luck. so, we will just have to wait and see. i'm praying that God wants little Jacob to make his appearance in the next couple weeks rather than make mommy wait until the end of January. but, if i have to...he's worth the wait.

it's over already...???

well, another Christmas has come and gone....sigh. i love the holidays. i'm always a bit sad when they are over. this was a wonderful holiday season, i must say. and Christmas was probably the best i've had in a long time. there was lots of baking, much gift giving, singing and making memories! Christmas dinner was amazing! my mother-in-law outdid herself and made beef wellington...yep. it was superb, Gordon Ramsey would be proud. and the best part was, i got to enjoy it and then sit around and relax with family the rest of the day. my hubby and i decided there would be no jumping from house to house this year. i'm too pregnant to drive around visiting all the relatives that go along with a divorced family. i loved it. this was the first time in years, and i mean, years...i've been able to stay at the same house all Christmas day. i got to experience the full enjoyment of Christmas day without being on a preplanned schedule. we spent the morning eating breakfast and opening presents (unrushed, i might add), then we cooked until the guests showed up early (as always), we sat, thanked the Lord for everything He's done for us and blessed us with then we proceeded to enjoy the feast, that was followed by the traditional sit around talking/napping, and we finished the night off by playing games until everyone had to go home...the family enjoyed frosty the cheese ball, our gingerbread houses looked amazing, and the weather finally got cold! it was a wonderful end to the year!

nesting...

okay...i know i'm only 34 weeks, but the nesting instinct kicked in hard core this last couple weeks. so hard core that i had to go buy dreft so i could wash everything. after i washed everything i had to hang and fold all the clothes and blankets and i even put the whole bed set together. i feel much more at ease now that it's all done. its so weird how the nesting feeling is so strong and when you finally give into it and just allow yourself to nest, it's like all is right. there's peace. ...then your husband throws his jeans and shirt on the floor and its like everything is turned upside down. what's wrong with me!? i don't remember nesting like this last pregnancy. it's so bad, i even have to organize everything in the car before we can drive off. seriously. and every night, everything has to be in it's place before i can even consider laying down. it so weird. this baby needs to come soon or i am going to drive everyone nuts.

baby Jacob's bed

B is for BABY and BLUE and BOY and BROTHER

i recently had my baby shower! it was so pretty and so simple and so perfect. i couldn't have asked for a more relaxed and more wonderful baby shower! the food was so good! my favorites of the party were the finger sandwiches shaped like baby bottles and onsies. yep. i know, amazing! i have my mother-in-law's wonderful talents to thank for that. as well as the beautiful cake and super cute ornament favors you see behind me in the above picture! she did all of that! oh! and she painted all the little cutesy boy stuff from the car shaped piggy bank to the cute little truck that might become the base of a lamp for the nursery. i'm so blessed! my mom was a wonderful host and she really outdid herself in color coordinating the Christmas tree to match the baby shower colors, and creating a matching "banner" out of blue/brown/cream onsies and wooden initials. she was so gracious to open her home and make it so beautiful for the shower. i loved being able to just sit back and sip on the homemade wassail, which was amazing by the way, and just watch everyone have a good time celebrating the joys of a new baby in a festive holiday fashion. i have to say, i loved having a baby shower amidst the holidays, it allowed for a whole new level of baby shower creativity.

yes, those are rattles made out of mini cupcakes! my mother-in-law is so talented! and isn't the truck super cute!?

baby Jacob will be here before we know it!!!

click here to see all the pictures

reality is kicking in

today i sat on the edge of my bed for a second, staring at the wall, realizing that in a matter of weeks our family will no longer be made up of 3...we will be 4. and not only that...but my hubby will be leaving soon. i wouldn't say i am feeling overwhelmed at the moment...not yet at least. ha ha that was humor. it's just all so surreal to me. the idea that i will be responsible for not just one child, but two. and that both little lives will be depending on me to teach them in the way God calls me to raise them, and all the while trying to be a godly role model to Kailyn and a patient mother to Jacob, while trying to find time to rest and clean and write sweet nothings to my hubby while he's away. wow...i'm out of breath just thinking about it. that's why i am so thankful i have the Lord in control of my life and His promises to me. i could not even begin to fathom the idea of trying to do all of this on my own...

"and let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9

"trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

"but seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:31-34

...i am so thankful to be surrounded by such wonderful loving family and friends. they are a support system that is truly a blessing and a gift from God. i can't believe how close we are to meeting our new little baby!

easy as pie!

i took on a new challenge this thanksgiving. i decided i wanted to learn how to make homemade pies from scratch. and i mean completely from scratch. so i hunkered down in the kitchen with my mother-in-law the day before thanksgiving to learn how to make homemade pies. it took us all day, and i made quite a mess...but the outcome was well worth it! i was so impressed with the finished products. one perfect pumpkin pie and one absolutely the best you will ever taste apple pie...which my hubby has already requested i make for Christmas as well. i can't even begin to tell you how happy it made me to see how much my family enjoyed the pie. and i had such a great time bonding with my mother-in-law while cooking. it was such a great experience and now i can say i know how to make homemade pie!

we made these out of leftover pie crust dough

my two finished products!

and i said i'd never do that...

a few years ago when i found out i was having a girl, i made one promise to myself...i said, and i quote, "oh, i will never be one of those mommies that matches her daughter...not happening." well...let me tell you... my daughter is 3 years old now and i have to say, i have a bit of an obsession with matching her. i'm not talking whole outfits here people...more like accessories and shoes...okay, a pair of shorts too. but my daughter loves it! she tells people, "look! my mommy has the same shoes i have!" or "look we have same jacket!"...it's fun, i shouldn't have knocked it before i tried it. if anyone reading this has a girl, i highly recommend matching with her here and there, it's quite enjoyable. these are a couple of the matching shoes we have...

winter

summer

sometimes it's the little things that bond you to your children the most. for me and my daughter this is one of those little things that makes us both smile.

baby update

i have been switched to doctor appointments every two weeks now! home stretch people. we'll be meeting our sweet little Jacob before we know it. in the meantime though, i am measuring 30 weeks, i passed my glucose test, thank God! i did not want to endure another 3 hour glucose test, those are awful. and i've only gained 21 pounds this pregnancy thus far, which is a huge success considering i had already gained 40+ pounds by this point with my last pregnancy (which can be attributed to my lack of self control when it came to sweets). i am feeling really good this time around! lots of healthy food, limited sweets, and exercise really make a difference. i am so excited that my baby shower and due date are just around the corner! it kind of takes the edge off of having to say goodbye to my hubby for 6 months around the same time...i'll have a 3 year old and a new little bundle of joy to keep me busy while he's gone. i'm so thankful for the support and love that surrounds me. God has blessed me in so many ways, but i consider my relatives and church family to be the biggest blessing, i don't know what i would do without them.

cucumber + lime + water = YUMMY!

i have become quite fond of this thing called "spa water" lately. basically it's fruit/citrus/veggie infused water. my favorite so far is cucumber and lime infused water. its amazing! who would have thought, cucumber + lime + water = amazing! i put a couple slices of lime and a couple slices of cucumber in a glass, i fill the cup with ice and water...i let it sit for a few minutes, then i stir it up. it's such a refreshing drink. it makes me feel like i'm in meadow with the wind blowing in my hair or something, with every sip i inhale and exhale and feel so much more relaxed. even my 3 year old likes it and she's pretty picky. there are so many varieties, like strawberry mint, pear lime, peach mint, even lemon raspberry. it's a whole new way to enjoy water!

cucumber lime mint water

excited!

my hubby was supposed to ship out to BCT today, but at the last minute my hubby's ship out date got switched to the end of January!!! that means not only do we get to spend the holidays with him, but there's a chance i could have this baby before he leaves! this is such a blessing in so many ways! God is so amazing!

hardest goodbye ever

my hubby left for BCT today. this is our first military separation...i was doing so good, being so strong, until this morning when i woke up in the wee hours the have a nice cry session because i realized it was the last time he'd be holding me for the next 6 months. the rest of the day i've been holding back tears. especially when he started talking to my belly and telling the baby how much he loved him. but the hardest part was hugging him and kissing him for the last time and watching him say goodbye to our daughter who later cried "daddy! daddy! i miss my daddy!" on the way home, which sent me into tears...anyone driving by had to wonder what was going on inside our car. haha. i'm sad, because i'm going to miss him, but i'm happy for him, and proud of him, and just so in love with him. i'm praying this time goes by fast and i'm so thankful we are anchored in the Lord. that in itself is going to make this time easier and more bearable. i can't wait to get that first letter from him...and i can't wait to start sending him my letters full of encouragement and love.

family pics!

i was so happy we got to take family pics before my hubby had to leave! these are just a few of my favorites.

25 weeks

my beautiful family :)

such a blessing!!!

as most of you know, we had an ultrasound a few weeks ago, in hopes of finding out the baby's sex before my hubby shipped out. well...little baby #2 wouldn't cooperate. so my hubby was a little disappointed, but he was in the mind set that he'd find out the sex at some later date in a letter from me. well, a couple of really close friends of ours decided as a "going away" present to my hubby, they were going to buy us an ultrasound so my hubby would be able to find out before he shipped! how awesome is that?! so with that...ITS A BOY!!!!! we are so excited! our daughter had her heart set on a little sister, so of course she's in denial, but she's slowly coming around. and i still can't believe in just a few short months we'll be meeting little Jacob Elijah!!!

work hard...play harder

it's officially October. which means the to do list is in full swing. i only have like a couple weeks left until the hubby ships out, and of course like any good wife, i have a list of things i want to get done before he leaves us for about 6 months. there are the tedious things like going through storage to find my winter clothes/lost maternity clothes, as well as organizing storage for the movers, getting our room set up for the new baby, getting everything he needs for bct/ait...etc. but then there is the list of sweet/fun stuff i want to get done before he leaves. this includes stuff like, making a few videos of him saying "hi" for our daughter to watch while he's gone, making a recording of his voice so i can play it on my belly every night for the new baby, a couple of family movie nights, we have to hit up a pumpkin patch, throw a few more park days in there, and of course take family pictures! that seems like a lot to get done in just a couple weeks...but being the planning queen i am, i'll make it happen! thankfully my hubby is on board with all of this. he told me he's enjoying every second he gets to spend with us since very shortly he will be away from us for so long. i have to say, i'm excited for this new chapter in our lives to begin, but the closer it gets to his ship out date, the more i realize just how much i'm going to miss him...that's why i want to make as many happy memories as we can before he leaves, so my daughter and i have those memories to hold onto while he's away.

Kailyn and daddy playing together at the park :)

autumn breeze

we went the park the yesterday, it was so nice outside...70's and sunny! that's rare around this time in houston...so we had to take advantage. it was such a good day, one of those days Kailyn will remember when she's missing daddy.

i thought i told september to slow down....

in less than a month i will be saying goodbye to my hubby for 6 months. to be honest, it doesn't seem so bad when you think about the deployments that will take place in the future. 6 months is better than a year. i think what's so hard about this is that this is the first goodbye of many in his army career. and to make matters a little tougher, i'm pregnant and will have this baby while he's gone. it's hard to really grasp what that will be like. i am thanking God i can't wrap my mind around it, because i would probably be a mess. its starting to hit me just how soon he will be kissing me goodbye though. just how soon i will be trying to fall asleep in an over sized empty bed. just how soon i will want to come home and tell him something and then have to try to figure out how to explain it in a letter instead. how soon until i ache because i would do anything to just hear his voice. i am trying to hold it together for my hubby, he needs me to be strong. and let me tell you, it is very difficult to keep my emotions in order with my out of control pregnancy hormones. but i know what i need to do, and the wife he needs me to be. and i will be that for him...because i love him. this will be difficult, but i praise the Lord for His faithfulness and comfort, that He continually pours out on me. i am thankful for the family and friends He has surrounded me with, so that i won't have to endure this alone. i am thankful for the constant reminder that He loves me and will never leave me. and i am so thankful for my hubby and the love that will fill in my heart even when he is miles away from me. i came across these lyrics and they pretty much explain how i am feeling...thankful to have the Lord in charge of my life.

"When I’m stuck in this nothingness by myself
I’m just sitting in silence
There’s no way I can make it without Your help, I won’t even try it
I know You have Your reasons for everything so I will keep believing
Whatever I might be feeling, God You are my hope
And You will be my strength

No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You no matter what, no matter what"

-Kerrie Roberts

this pregnancy is flying by

i'm 20 weeks today!!! half-way to meeting our new little one!

the baby didn't want to play...haha

well, we arrived at the doctor's office this morning in hopes of finding out if our new little addition to the family would be a boy or a girl...but no such luck. this baby did not want to cooperate. instead it turned it's back to us, only to position itself a couple times just right to kick at the ultrasound wand thingy. this child would not spread it's legs enough for us to see in between them and quite honestly looked a bit upset at the whole situation taking place. i did however see little fingers and arms moving, little bones, little head and belly and it's little tushy! ...cute little thing this child is. we didn't see it's face or a profile, the baby wouldn't even cooperate for that...but the doctor said he/she looks healthy and all the measurements are good! so praise the Lord! all you ever want, as a parent, is a healthy baby. we will be happy whether this baby turns out to be a boy or a girl. hopefully we will be able to try again before my hubby ships out, but if not, i have some cute ideas for how to tell him while he's away! ...in the meantime, here is the only picture we could get today. enjoy!

little baby #2

head and arm

blessed hope

"For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." Titus 3:3-7

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works." Titus 2:11-14

...as you can tell i read Titus a couple nights ago and really liked it. next on my list through the Epistles is Philemon. i have to say, the Apostle Paul was one heck of a writer.

belly is growing!

this was at 16 weeks

God moment

i logged onto facebook this morning and one of my friends had posted this as their status: do not be deceived: "evil company corrupts good habits." 1 Corinthians 15:33. immediately it was one of those 'alright God, i hear you' moments. for the past week or so i've been waring with myself, between what i know God would want from me and what my mind tries to justify. i've been going back and forth between, "well, if i know that i'm following the Lord and i know how i'm supposed to act, then being around this person shouldn't affect me." and "God wouldn't want me to keep company with someone like that...regardless of how close we are." when i read this scripture it was like the nail in the coffin. i can sit there and justify and come up with bogus reasoning, but in the end God speaks to me through scripture. and it's up to me whether or not i follow His will for my life. i have to say, i do not want to go against God, so my only other option is to do as He says. even if that means doing something difficult. no matter how close someone is to me, if they are a bad influence, a corrupting influence on my spiritual walk, i should depart from that and surround myself with those that will help me in my spiritual walk. i should do that anyway. i will make it priority to stay away from those that are in love with the world. instead i will surround myself with those who are in love with the Lord.

i may not understand....but God has a plan

i recently had another go at the er. fun. i got stuck and poked and made to wait a couple hours in what was probably the most uncomfortable bed in the whole world with an iv hooked to my hand while being told to 'relax'. ya. easy for you to say. earlier that day i had "stroke like symptoms" so of course being pregnant and only twenty-three the smart thing to do is go to the hospital. well, i'm stubborn, so i waited it out a while and called my doctor who eventually told me to go to the er. i hate the er. it takes forever to get called back, and then once you get back there it's like they just hook up an iv and leave you in the room for what seems like an eternity. well after a few hours at in a cold room on a rock hard bed, i was told i have migraines and that the symptoms mimic a stroke. ...and you couldn't have told me this sooner? why did i have to lay in here hooked up to an iv while me and my unborn child pretty much froze to death?! long story short, i have to see a neurologist and make sure its nothing more. sigh. so tell the pregnant woman, "don't stress, just relax, but by the way you have headaches that make you feel like you are having a stroke...but don't stress." i was doing pretty well until i had another face numbing incident yesterday. it's a weird feeling and i don't like it, especially if i start to feel dizzy. but as i sat there in church trying to calm down, i was reminded that i have a purpose. God has a plan for me. so all of this is happening for a reason, i may not know what the reason is, but i know there is a reason. so i am trying to find comfort in that. i want to be an instrument for the Lord. i want Him to be able to use me and work through me, and the only way to do that is to open my heart up and allow Him to work. whatever that may be.

my beautiful daughter

Without a doubt, she is the most beautiful gift God has ever given me!

what...??? 14 weeks...really?!

i went to the doctor today because i recently found out i was pregnant via home pregnancy test. as it turns out i am already 14 weeks along and my due date is January 30th. crazy. it's strange going in for your first prenatal visit and finding out you are already starting your 2nd trimester. i had calculated best i could and honestly thought my calculations were a little overshot, but as it was pointed out by the doctor, i was only a couple weeks off. so, with that, baby number two is on the way! i am very excited, as is my hubby, and our daughter. she keeps telling me how she is going to hold the baby, and feed the baby, and put the baby down for a nap...basically play dolly with her new brother or sister. i love that she is excited though. i'm doing everything in my power to make sure she is a big part of this whole experience. she can't wait to hear the baby's heartbeat, or see the baby on the 'tv'. she's so cute. this whole thing is a little nerve racking though. the idea that come October, my hubby will be shipped off to boot camp and job training for 6 months...meaning he won't be here for the latter part of my pregnancy and the birth. i know God will work everything out and i know i will have my wonderful family surrounding me through it all. i can't believe we'll have a new addition to the family in a matter of months. so amazing!

has it really been a month...?

well, i seemed to have neglected my blog to the extreme. i am sorry to those who actually follow my blog and have been wondering what's been going on. not too much really. i haven't been on my computer very often lately, it's been quite liberating. i never realize the hold my computer has on me until i am finally able to break away from it for a long period of time. i look at it from a totally different perspective and always decide that there are more important things i could be doing than spending a large amount of time on my computer. i always feel accomplished and free from the binds of cyberspace...we'll see how long it lasts this time. it might actually last a little longer than usual this time, since i've re-discovered my favorite hobby...reading.

*i will be updating soon enough*

she's growing up way too fast

my little girl turned 3 today! it's a reminder as to how precious these little days are. before i know it she will be all grown up. tear. i'm in the process of baking funfetti cupcakes and getting the last of her presents wrapped. i love the innocence of being this little. the smallest thing, like telling her, "you're 3 today!", makes her so happy. or how daddy and mommy snuck into her room early this morning before she woke up and put happy birthday signs and balloons in her room. when she woke up she was so excited. she then asked, with her cute little question face and her hands palm up, "how mommy daddy get balloons in kailyn's room while kailyn sleeping on my pillow?!?!". i love it. she was genuinely surprised. hopefully she will be just as surprised at her presents later! today is a good day.

On This Memorial Day...

...please take the time to honor those who have lost their lives while fighting for freedom, freedom that we take for granted almost every day. so, take a moment to say a little prayer for the families who have lost loved ones in the military, because to them, Memorial Day is about so much more than a day off work/school and an excuse to grill out. appreciation and thanks goes a long way.

my litte on memorial day :)

Proverbs 3:5-6

today is a turning point in our life. a new adventure is on the horizon. new challenges await us and a new way of life is just around the corner. today my hubby joined the army. i'm nervous, excited, proud, and ready, all at the same time. we can't wait to see where God takes us on this journey and we are ready for the challenges we will face. we know that God will be with us and hold our hand every step of the way.

Deuteronomy 31:8 "And the LORD, He is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed."

I am so blessed to be a mother to such a wonderful daughter!

living by faith

lots going on in our little world these days...potty training, new adventures possibly on the horizon, a possible new job opportunity in the works...this means lots of praying... starting yesterday. i seem to have hit another point in my life where i'm getting very emotional and allowing my emotions to take control rather than submitting to God, and allowing Him to have control. not good. well...since i can't rewind, i have taken a moment to just stop and re-evaluate the situations at hand. i have to look at all this realistically. i tell myself this on a daily basis, the world isn't daisies and sunshine all the time, so i have to do whatever i can to bring out the sunshine, even in the midst of the thunderstorms. which means prayer...lots and lots of prayer. not to mention, i must fully submit to the Lord's will for my life. even if that means going down a road i don't think i am strong enough to handle. because in the end, i always come to the same realization...i am not strong enough to do anything...it is He who is in me, that gives me strength. so really, if we are going down a road that is God led, then i will have the strength to deal, through Him. it's so simple and yet, i always have to take the long road...you would think i would have learned my lesson by now. now i feel so silly for getting worked up over something that was obviously a lesson in submission and patience for me. i have to keep my hope and faith in the fact that the Lord is good! with that, i can now take a deep breath and open up my heart to the peace that comes with trusting God.

"Rejoice in the Lord, ALWAYS. Again, I will say REJOICE!" Philippians 4:4

operation potty training...a go!

i am pleased to say that operation potty training is going very well. we are going on day 3 in big girl princess panties and no accidents! she's doing really well. i've noticed lots of positivity and encouragement work way better than bribes most of the time. not all the time though....bribes seem to be the only way to get her to go #2 on the potty. we'll have to work on that. i've also noticed that little games like, 'who's going to pee pee first?!' or 'pee pee before i'm done singing this song!' work really well. it gets her in that fun/game type attitude so she's excited about going pee pee. any kind of distraction has worked really well too, coloring, singing, reading, etc. she seems most excited when we get excited. little things like "awesome! you went pee pee!" or "we are sooo proud of you! you're getting so big!" or "that makes mommy and daddy so happy when you go pee pee in the potty!". praise and encouragement have worked better for our daughter than any trick we've tried so far. it makes her happy to know she's making mommy and daddy happy. it's an awesome feeling! i really could see her being completely out of diapers in about 2 weeks. i'll be sure to update.

conquering potty training

after much frustration and for lack of a better term, just being lazy...we are finally full force on this whole potty training adventure. we've dusted off the rarely used mini pink potty, and we've taken out the big girl panties she's had for about a year now. i'm getting excited! our goal is to have our daughter potty trained by her 3rd birthday, which is June 3rd. we're hoping to have her potty trained before that, but if all doesn't go as smoothly as we hope it will, that's our max goal. we've tried the random potty thing and it didn't work. we've tried bribes, but that only seems to work every now and then. so i've decided, today, i'm taking the hands on approach. i'm stuck to her side, telling her to try to pee pee every 30 min. or so. i've found random things to make it fun, like setting my phone to sound an alarm for every 30 min. so she knows when it's time to try on the potty. i also stuck a cheerio or two in her potty and told her she needed to pee pee on them. i know that one is a little weird, but hey, she thought it was fun and it worked. there are also books and coloring pads near her potty to give her an activity to do while on the potty. we began operation potty training around 8 this morning and she has only had one accident all day, which incidentally was my fault for tickling her when she had been holding it for a while. so no more tickling. no bribes today. just fun and consistency. so far, it's worked pretty well. but i think what makes this so much easier on both of us, is letting go of my selfishness. today is not about what i have to get done, it's about helping my daughter conquer potty training. i'll be sure to post updates on her progress and post any tricks i may come across to make potty training a little easier. pray for the rest of the day to go as well as the first half!

i couldn't resist...

i know, i know, i did it again...i entered my child in another magazine cover contest. one day i will get tired of doing this. today is not that day. i can't resist, she's too cute not to show off. so, if you want to see her entry photos, here's the link:
http://www.parents.com/photos/photo-contests-1/2010-parents-cover-contest/1752700033/?photoId=1749600119

becoming a Proverbs 31 wife

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax. And willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservant. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds up herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed in scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates." Proverbs 31:10-31

i want to be that kind of wife. a wife who's heart is after the Lord. a wife that wants to please God, make her husband happy, and care for her children with a happy heart. a wife that is known by her character and love, rather than her beauty. a wife that cannot be replaced in her husband's mind. a wife that is happy because she does as the Lord has called her to do and finds joy in doing so...i want to be invaluable to my hubby, i want to be diligent in everything i do, i want to be important to my family, i want to be considered insightful and influential, but most importantly i want God to be able to use me as an instrument. i want my family [and others] to see God's love through the way He has called me to love and care for them.

define...HoBBy

i seem to have forgotten about my goal for this month. my mind has been elsewhere. now here we are half way through March and i have yet to pick a new hobby. unless coloring with my little one is considered a hobby. i was thinking something along the lines of scrap booking or running, but my scrap booking stuff is packed away in storage and to be honest, i don't really want to run. so, now i must come up with a new hobby by the end of the month, which leaves me 8 days. hmmm. i'll get back to y'all on that one.

i recently found a verse that made me smile. "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I hope in Him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him." Lamentations 3:22-25

1 John 5:14

and just like that, we have moved back to Katy. Yep. I have to say i couldn't be happier about this decision. mainly because this is totally God led, which means there are amazing things in store for us with this move. my hubby has a new job, one that has lots of promise. he calls it, "a big boy job". i like that. with a big boy job comes big boy responsibilities. not to mention he is actually excited about this job, which is a total God thing as well. i'm looking forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for my hubby. i also like the amount of time he gets to spend with us. this is something we haven't had much of in the past, so i'm very thankful for the hours of family time we are able to share. pretty soon we will be looking for a house, which amazes me. i never would have thought we'd be in a position to be looking for a house this soon, but we've put it in God's hands and we are excited to see where He plants us. things are going really good. God is great! it's amazing how He can take all the bad and turn it into good. it's amazing how the minute you allow yourself to put everything in His hands, all the worry, all the frustration, all the stress, all the hurt, everything, you just give it all to Him, you feel this peace. amongst the chaos that's surrounding you, there is just this feeling of peace inside. the feeling that everything is going to work out exactly the way it is meant to, and that you will find happiness. i highly encourage trying this. it's amazing what the Lord can do!

Romans 5:1-4
"therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope."

"i never leave Your hands"

just an update: my work out routine goal has been put on hold for a bit. i have been going through a really hard time in my life recently. i am so thankful for my friends and family, they have been there for me and supportive of me during this time. i am very blessed. i am so amazed at what the Lord gives us daily and how much of it we take for granted. love, hope, mercy, grace, forgiveness...the list goes on and on. for the first time in a long time i have fully put my life in His hands. i have to put my whole heart in His hands daily. i have to let go of my awful habit of trying to do things on my own. God is there, He wants me to ask for His help, and He wants me to leave it to Him. it's so easy, and yet i always take the hard way, the uphill battle. and i have always failed in those situations. it's like when i say to my daughter, "we can do this the easy way or the hard way." she should always chose the easy way, but for some reason she thinks she can get away with it if she chooses the hard way. if i have learned anything in the last two weeks, it's that i am not capable of anything without God. my strength comes from Him. my love for others comes from Him. my forgiving heart comes from Him. my very life comes from Him. the fact that i can breathe in and breathe out at this very moment, is because of Him. i should get down on my knees daily and praise Him for the everything He has blessed me with. for the last week or so, i have been reading my bible everyday and every night, and i have found so much reassurance in His Word. there were so many times where i would pray for understanding or peace, and that night i would find a bible verse or story that spoke to me and answered the questions i had asked God. how anyone could deny Him is beyond me. if it weren't for my faith in Jesus, and my relationship with Him, i don't know where i would be right now. i trust in Him and i know He has so much in store for me and my family. i find peace in that. even in this troubling time. He has not once let go of me. there is a bible verse that i have felt so blessed by in the past, but more so in the present...
Jeremiah 29:11-13. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart."
Jesus is AMAZING!

thin mints are my weakness...

this workout thing is harder than i thought it would be. as it turns out, finding the time is the hardest part. i've had the video since last week, i've even added a couple of other workout videos on Netflix, but i've only done the workout thing maybe 3 times. that was not how i had planned this at all. and to make matters worse, girl scout cookies are on sale now. i have a weakness for thin mints. a horrible, horrible weakness. so, now is the time for me to step it up a bit. well, more than a bit, because i'd really like to enjoy thin mints while they are still around. i need to find a way to set a schedule and stick to it. something like alternating days or evenings. my plan was to workout during my daughter's nap time, but i've found that a day without that two hours to relax and read, sleep, or watch The Office re-runs, kind of turns me into "not-so-fun mommy". so, i'm thinking maybe i could work out right after i put her to bed, which is usually around 8p. i could do it on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. i need to write this down on a colorful sheet of paper, and i need to put it up on the fridge...no, the food cabinet door. that way every time i go into the kitchen on a mission to eat something for a reason other than being hungry, i will be reminded of the workout schedule. these sorts of things keep me going. with no set schedule i have leeway to be lazy and make up some lame excuse for why i decided not to workout that day. i still have half the month left, let us see if i can make something happen.

off subject...i had previously complained about the lack of snow in this quaint little college town back in December, but i take it back. tonight it snowed. it snowed a lot. and even though it didn't stick to the ground or blanket more than the cars in the parking lot, it was still beautiful and wonderful and so much fun to watch.

hot tea with lemon and honey.

my little girl has come down with a cold. poor thing. i feel so helpless in these situations. i feel like she's so miserable and basically asking for me to make it go away, but i can't. all i can do is hold her while she cries, and coughs, and does everything in her power to get comfortable. that was how most of last night was spent. it was a strange feeling for me, i felt like a new mom again. up all night, my daughter crying, me rummaging through the kitchen drawers looking for something that would make her feel better. the last time she was sick seems like ages ago. at one point last night, i held her in my arms all snuggled up in my big pink blanket, she had watery eyes and she would let out a sad little cry every time she coughed, then she would nuzzle her sweaty little head back into the spot it had been before she had to cough. i have to say, even though she was miserable, i cherished that moment. here i was, holding my precious child, and in my mind i was unable to help her in anyway, but in her mind, being in my arms was help enough. she eventually fell asleep. there were a few wake ups and crying sessions throughout the night, due to her inability to breathe through her nose, but i'm thankful she isn't worse off. most of today was spent keeping her fever down. she wouldn't take her children's Tylenol, apparently her taste buds have changed since the last time she was sick. so i did what any mom would do...i squirted it into a cup of juice and made sure she drank it all. later in the day, i put it in some warm decaf tea with honey...she liked that a lot, it helped sooth her throat. i know how she's feeling. lately, my allergies have been on the severe side. i've been drinking hot tea all week. my beverage choices have ranged from green tea to black tea, and everything in between. hot tea with lemon and honey seems the be the only thing that really makes my throat feel better. it may be a short lived remedy, but i still swear by it. i happen to make one version of hot tea that i have become quite fond of. recipe: Tazo passion tea (hot), 2 tbsp sugar, 1 tbsp honey, 2 sliced lemons pressed down at the bottom with a spoon for juice, then float them at the top. it's amazing. although, i think every tea i try is amazing. never the less, i would highly recommend this if you are feeling under the weather. plus, the tea stains the inside of the lemon slices pink...so it looks all fun and girly. i'm hoping all these sickly vibes are out of our systems soon...praying for health.

also makes a great iced passion tea lemonade.

off subject...i got started on my work out routine. very hard. i'm very sore. more on that later.

February: StaRt a WoRk OuT RouTiNe

with one month behind me and a fresh new goal ahead of me, one that i must admit, i am very excited about, i'm ready to jump right in. anyone that's close to me knows, i don't work out and yet, i eat a lot. in reality, if i wasn't chasing a 2 year old around all day, i'd most likely be obese. never the less, i've pressed my luck on this matter far too long and it's time i get my little behind back into shape. i've already began working on my diet, well it's more like a lack of constant food intake, and i've integrated much more chasing and dancing into my daughter's play time. it's still not enough. this month i am going to start a work out routine and hopefully i will be able to keep it going past these 28 days...fingers crossed. it will probably be a video work out, since it's the most convenient for a stay-at-home mom. i'm going to Target in the morning to scout out work out DVDs, hopefully i will find one worth committing to and be one step closer to achieving my goal. i secretly despise the swim suit i own at the moment. i bought it the summer after i had my daughter...that was quite some time ago. if i can just stick to this work out routine, than i may have a chance at buying a swim suit this summer that doesn't scream, 'i'm trying my best to cover as much as possible'. so, let's see how this week goes. wish me luck!

1 down....11 to go.

well as it nears the end of the month, having tried my best to attain my goal of keeping positive, i have to say, i'm not quite sure how well i did. i kept happy things around me as constant reminders of positivity, but most days they just got buried under a pile of bills or paperwork. i thought carefully about the comments i was making and decided to go with the most positive approach, so in that aspect, i'd say i got an A. as for being positive all the time....maybe a D-. but hey, it's still passing, right? i've learned that with a two year old who thinks she runs the house and a hubby who's always either at school or work, it's not all daisies and sunshine all the time. i don't know how i thought i could make it seem that way. i have to say, trying to be happy when i wasn't feeling happy, made me feel worse than just admitting that i wasn't happy at that given moment. it took me back to a time in my life when i would go months with a fake smile and fabricated positivity, while on the inside i was kicking and screaming at what was going on. i'm glad those days are over and all i'm dealing with now are the simple stresses of mommy-hood. all in all, i have a wonderful life and if i could just take a moment to reflect on that whenever the world is weighing down on my shoulders, i think i'll be fine. so, with this goal came an almost impossible task, but it allowed me to gain perspective on what approach i should take when having a bad day. that in itself makes me feel like i have accomplished something.

sunlight

lately, as Kailyn's nap time nears, the warm afternoon sun begins to shine through the blinds casting bright lines of light on our living room floor. the atmosphere is calm and lazy, willing us to lay around enjoying the relaxing warmth of the sun's heat through the window. it brings me back to my childhood. i remember during the spring and summer, the sun would shine through our back door, which was basically a large glass window pane with a doorknob. there would be a rectangular shape of sunlight cast out on the ground perpendicular to the door. it was so calming for some reason. there was this warmth in the air and as we walked around the house, there was just a sense of calmness. for years i missed those days. nothing could quite replicate it, until now. its so amazing to me how similar the feeling is to when i was younger. it makes me wonder if Kailyn is etching the same kind of feelings and memories into her head. i wonder if years from now, when she is enjoying the lazy afternoons with her children, if she will look back the way i am now, and think of these days as being so peaceful and so perfect. i love afternoons like these, they bring back fond childhood memories while at the same time allowing me to create new ones with my own little girl.

refresh

so after much procrastination i have finally taken down all the Christmas decorations. it feels so refreshing actually. endless possibilities are within reach as soon as you let go of the past. in a way, even though the new year is well in motion, every time i walked into the living room and saw all the holiday decor, it brought me back to the end of last year. today, once everything was clear, the furniture was placed, and the carpet was no longer covered in glitter, i felt this overwhelming sense of freedom. it was like i could breath again. which i know sounds really strange since we are talking about little snowmen, santas, and an oversize fake tree covered in glittery non-sense. it was just a daily reminder of the past...i'm so ready to just embrace my present, but every time i would see the tree and decorations it was like i was pulled back into last year. memories...good and bad...feelings, thoughts...yata yata. jumble really. i like to remember the wonderful things in life, the moments that counted for something and helped bring me to where i am today. the negative i like to toss out like an old pair of smelly sneakers...but for some reason, even though you've tossed them out, every time you pass the trash can, you can still smell them. it's not until you get rid of the trash completely, that you are able to forget about them. in a way, that's what taking down the decorations meant for me. getting rid of last year completely...well...expect for the good memories of course, and moving on with whatever great adventures there may be waiting for me this year.

Jeremiah 29:11

January: Be LeSS NeGaTiVe

so, this year i'm doing things a little bit differently. instead of a new years resolution that i am destined to forget by march, i've decided to set monthly goals instead. one goal per month, that way i won't try to stretch one long term resolution over a whole year and inevitably fail. anyway, i've taken my planner and gone through each month selecting various goals to put in each one. when i open to a new month, i will see that goal first thing and thus forth try to reach that goal by the end of the month, just in time to move on to the next one. i see it like this, if i am able to follow these monthly goals, then by the end of the year i should feel like i've accomplished so many things, instead of just one thing. so it begins....for january my goal is to be less negative. so this whole month, when i'm about to say something negative, i should say something positive instead...or nothing at all. i'm curious to see if by the end of this month, i will have a more positive outlook on things.

ThiNk PoSiTiVe.