when the Lord answers me

I am so ungrateful and so undeserving of the love and mercy the Lord shows me. I am selfish and so wrapped up in myself and what I am going through that I often miss what the Lord is saying to me. Its always "woe is me..."...blah, blah, blah. I pray prayers everyday. Long ones, short ones, selfish ones, selfless ones, needed ones, encouraged ones, and the list goes on. I even pray what my pastor likes to call "flare prayers". The quick, "help me, Lord!" prayers spoken out of fear. And sometimes I don't pray. And I wait, expecting to hear something, when I've done nothing. But, most times, I pray. And I wait. Not long enough. And I think to myself, 'I hear nothing...I'm not getting any answers, God why aren't you answering me?'. And that's when the Lord gently says to me, "Dear child, you're not listening. Just wait.". I forget that a relationship consists of communication, it's not a one way thing. It's not only talking, but also listening. This is a relationship I have with my Lord and Savior, so why am I neglecting our communication? I wouldn't do this in my marriage, just talk at my husband and then walk out of the room without waiting for a response. I want to hear what my husband has to say, I want to spend time with him. I hold my marriage in very high regard. So, shouldn't I hold my relationship with my Creator, my Redeemer, my heavenly Father to an even higher regard? Jesus wants to spend time with me. He wants to hear from me. But, He also wants me to listen to Him and wait for His answers. This has been on my heart lately and it's amazing how even when this is put on my heart, how disobedient I still am. And yet, grace is shown to me again and again. My Lord loves me. I don't know how or why, but He does. It's amazing though, when I do wait, and I do listen. When I come to Him and lay myself at His feet. The answers are so clear...as clear as if He were sitting right next to me.

...during a recent prayer, I had said, "Lord, why are things so difficult? Why does it have to be so hard?"...He sweetly answered me saying, "Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." (Matt. 7:14). When I say, "How are we going to afford clothes for our children? How are we going to afford groceries this month?"...He tenderly says to me, "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?'...For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." (Matt.6:31-33). When I mumble to myself worrying, "What if I something happens? What if it ends up worse?"...He comforts me by saying, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt. 6:34). When I am wide awake at night, praying, "Lord, please take this fear from me...", He puts His arms around me and says, "Fear not, for I am with you..." (Isaiah 41:10). He is. He is always with me. Always there waiting to hear from me. As should I be...always with an open heart and open ears, waiting to hear from Him.

"Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:14