when the Lord answers me

I am so ungrateful and so undeserving of the love and mercy the Lord shows me. I am selfish and so wrapped up in myself and what I am going through that I often miss what the Lord is saying to me. Its always "woe is me..."...blah, blah, blah. I pray prayers everyday. Long ones, short ones, selfish ones, selfless ones, needed ones, encouraged ones, and the list goes on. I even pray what my pastor likes to call "flare prayers". The quick, "help me, Lord!" prayers spoken out of fear. And sometimes I don't pray. And I wait, expecting to hear something, when I've done nothing. But, most times, I pray. And I wait. Not long enough. And I think to myself, 'I hear nothing...I'm not getting any answers, God why aren't you answering me?'. And that's when the Lord gently says to me, "Dear child, you're not listening. Just wait.". I forget that a relationship consists of communication, it's not a one way thing. It's not only talking, but also listening. This is a relationship I have with my Lord and Savior, so why am I neglecting our communication? I wouldn't do this in my marriage, just talk at my husband and then walk out of the room without waiting for a response. I want to hear what my husband has to say, I want to spend time with him. I hold my marriage in very high regard. So, shouldn't I hold my relationship with my Creator, my Redeemer, my heavenly Father to an even higher regard? Jesus wants to spend time with me. He wants to hear from me. But, He also wants me to listen to Him and wait for His answers. This has been on my heart lately and it's amazing how even when this is put on my heart, how disobedient I still am. And yet, grace is shown to me again and again. My Lord loves me. I don't know how or why, but He does. It's amazing though, when I do wait, and I do listen. When I come to Him and lay myself at His feet. The answers are so clear...as clear as if He were sitting right next to me.

...during a recent prayer, I had said, "Lord, why are things so difficult? Why does it have to be so hard?"...He sweetly answered me saying, "Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." (Matt. 7:14). When I say, "How are we going to afford clothes for our children? How are we going to afford groceries this month?"...He tenderly says to me, "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?'...For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." (Matt.6:31-33). When I mumble to myself worrying, "What if I something happens? What if it ends up worse?"...He comforts me by saying, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt. 6:34). When I am wide awake at night, praying, "Lord, please take this fear from me...", He puts His arms around me and says, "Fear not, for I am with you..." (Isaiah 41:10). He is. He is always with me. Always there waiting to hear from me. As should I be...always with an open heart and open ears, waiting to hear from Him.

"Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:14

Rememberance

I originally wanted to write a long heartfelt post about 9/11 and where I was and what I remember...but after watching one too many recaps of that horrific day on CNN and CNBC and whatnot, I just can't seem to find the words. I should have turned the TV off hours ago. It was an awful awful thing done by mean hateful people. 10 years later, and we are all still on edge, as if waiting for the next act of terrorism to fall upon us. So on this day, while we remember those that lost their lives in so many tragic ways, and while the rest of us continue to go on with ours, I say, lets not fear the what ifs. In Psalm 56:11, David writes, "In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?". If we put our lives in Jesus' hands and fully in-trust our lives to Him, we have nothing to fear. That includes terrorists and their could be plots. We can sit around and speculate all we want about what might happen in the future, or what the enemy might be planning, but in reality, we would be living in constant fear, like our enemies (worldly and spiritually) want us too be. We would just be wasting time on mindless nonsense that fuels our fears, when instead we could be living our lives full on for the Lord, redeeming our short little time in this wicked world, showing the love of Jesus Christ to those who are submersed in fear themselves. Put your trust in the Lord and leave the fear to the enemy. That is the only way to keep living our lives after an event such as this one. I pray that the families who lost loved ones on 9/11 find comfort, and I pray that everything works out to the glory of the Lord, that they may see His miraculous works through all of this. Amen. & God BLESS America!