belly is growing!

this was at 16 weeks

God moment

i logged onto facebook this morning and one of my friends had posted this as their status: do not be deceived: "evil company corrupts good habits." 1 Corinthians 15:33. immediately it was one of those 'alright God, i hear you' moments. for the past week or so i've been waring with myself, between what i know God would want from me and what my mind tries to justify. i've been going back and forth between, "well, if i know that i'm following the Lord and i know how i'm supposed to act, then being around this person shouldn't affect me." and "God wouldn't want me to keep company with someone like that...regardless of how close we are." when i read this scripture it was like the nail in the coffin. i can sit there and justify and come up with bogus reasoning, but in the end God speaks to me through scripture. and it's up to me whether or not i follow His will for my life. i have to say, i do not want to go against God, so my only other option is to do as He says. even if that means doing something difficult. no matter how close someone is to me, if they are a bad influence, a corrupting influence on my spiritual walk, i should depart from that and surround myself with those that will help me in my spiritual walk. i should do that anyway. i will make it priority to stay away from those that are in love with the world. instead i will surround myself with those who are in love with the Lord.

i may not understand....but God has a plan

i recently had another go at the er. fun. i got stuck and poked and made to wait a couple hours in what was probably the most uncomfortable bed in the whole world with an iv hooked to my hand while being told to 'relax'. ya. easy for you to say. earlier that day i had "stroke like symptoms" so of course being pregnant and only twenty-three the smart thing to do is go to the hospital. well, i'm stubborn, so i waited it out a while and called my doctor who eventually told me to go to the er. i hate the er. it takes forever to get called back, and then once you get back there it's like they just hook up an iv and leave you in the room for what seems like an eternity. well after a few hours at in a cold room on a rock hard bed, i was told i have migraines and that the symptoms mimic a stroke. ...and you couldn't have told me this sooner? why did i have to lay in here hooked up to an iv while me and my unborn child pretty much froze to death?! long story short, i have to see a neurologist and make sure its nothing more. sigh. so tell the pregnant woman, "don't stress, just relax, but by the way you have headaches that make you feel like you are having a stroke...but don't stress." i was doing pretty well until i had another face numbing incident yesterday. it's a weird feeling and i don't like it, especially if i start to feel dizzy. but as i sat there in church trying to calm down, i was reminded that i have a purpose. God has a plan for me. so all of this is happening for a reason, i may not know what the reason is, but i know there is a reason. so i am trying to find comfort in that. i want to be an instrument for the Lord. i want Him to be able to use me and work through me, and the only way to do that is to open my heart up and allow Him to work. whatever that may be.

my beautiful daughter

Without a doubt, she is the most beautiful gift God has ever given me!

what...??? 14 weeks...really?!

i went to the doctor today because i recently found out i was pregnant via home pregnancy test. as it turns out i am already 14 weeks along and my due date is January 30th. crazy. it's strange going in for your first prenatal visit and finding out you are already starting your 2nd trimester. i had calculated best i could and honestly thought my calculations were a little overshot, but as it was pointed out by the doctor, i was only a couple weeks off. so, with that, baby number two is on the way! i am very excited, as is my hubby, and our daughter. she keeps telling me how she is going to hold the baby, and feed the baby, and put the baby down for a nap...basically play dolly with her new brother or sister. i love that she is excited though. i'm doing everything in my power to make sure she is a big part of this whole experience. she can't wait to hear the baby's heartbeat, or see the baby on the 'tv'. she's so cute. this whole thing is a little nerve racking though. the idea that come October, my hubby will be shipped off to boot camp and job training for 6 months...meaning he won't be here for the latter part of my pregnancy and the birth. i know God will work everything out and i know i will have my wonderful family surrounding me through it all. i can't believe we'll have a new addition to the family in a matter of months. so amazing!

has it really been a month...?

well, i seemed to have neglected my blog to the extreme. i am sorry to those who actually follow my blog and have been wondering what's been going on. not too much really. i haven't been on my computer very often lately, it's been quite liberating. i never realize the hold my computer has on me until i am finally able to break away from it for a long period of time. i look at it from a totally different perspective and always decide that there are more important things i could be doing than spending a large amount of time on my computer. i always feel accomplished and free from the binds of cyberspace...we'll see how long it lasts this time. it might actually last a little longer than usual this time, since i've re-discovered my favorite hobby...reading.

*i will be updating soon enough*

she's growing up way too fast

my little girl turned 3 today! it's a reminder as to how precious these little days are. before i know it she will be all grown up. tear. i'm in the process of baking funfetti cupcakes and getting the last of her presents wrapped. i love the innocence of being this little. the smallest thing, like telling her, "you're 3 today!", makes her so happy. or how daddy and mommy snuck into her room early this morning before she woke up and put happy birthday signs and balloons in her room. when she woke up she was so excited. she then asked, with her cute little question face and her hands palm up, "how mommy daddy get balloons in kailyn's room while kailyn sleeping on my pillow?!?!". i love it. she was genuinely surprised. hopefully she will be just as surprised at her presents later! today is a good day.