sometimes...

well, a lot of times...some song lyrics will help me feel strong in a moment when i'm feeling really weak and helpless. most of the time, i'm just wallowing in my own self pity...stupid nonsense that i realize is so ridiculous the next morning. i think its the silence at night that gets to me. the quiet loneliness...anyway, back to what i was saying. "happy" by leona lewis is one of those songs. and i feel like a complete doof for even mentioning this, but sometimes when i listen to that song i just feel like i can accomplish the things i want to and i don't have to just sit back and watch my goals and aspirations diminish. i know i am capable of attaining the things i want in life, i know i am strong enough to face the challenges and deal with all the bumps in the road life throws at me...but sometimes i lose sight of that....sometimes i feel weak, like this is the most my life will ever be. i know i'm a damn good mother, but i also know i can be damn good at a lot of other things as well. i want to take chances, i want to do something with my life. i am so tired of sitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting for the rest of my life to begin...i just need to figure out my next step. ...it's amazing how so many thoughts poor into my head from just listening to one little song.