rough patch

Every so often, we endure various trials. Big ones, little ones, some that stick, some that don't. A growing process for our faith is what I like to think of them as. In 1 Peter 1:6-9 it reads, "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith--the salvation of your souls". Amazing to think of our faith as being "much more precious than gold...". But I love how it reads, "...that perishes..." right after those words. The Lord is letting us know that something the world holds to such high esteem, perishes. A reminder that our faith is much more important, we should be spending our time focusing on our faith and not our riches. The Lord's faithfulness to us is never ending, as should our faith in Him be also. The Lord puts us through these trials to test our faith. To make us stronger, not in ourselves, but in Him. The Lord wants us to endure these things so that when we are standing on the other side of the storm, safe and sound, we can look back at everything He did for us to get us through those trials. To teach us how our faith in Him made it possible for us to make it through. It's in that moment, when we thank Him for His faithfulness and mercy, that our faith is strengthened. In James 1:2-4, it touches on this point, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.". With each trial we endure, we are slowly being shaped into the perfect work of art the Lord is molding us into. I have to keep my mind on God during these times, those moments when I ask myself, why? Instead I should be praying, 'help me through this as long as You chose for me to endure, Lord? What can I do for you, Lord? Am I soft and pliable in your hands, Lord? Mold me, Lord.'...

oooo fall is upon us!

It feels like fall! The temperatures are slowly coming down from the 100's, there's even a nice breeze in the evening, and Starbucks put out their pumpkin spice latte! Oh yes, it is fall. So in honor of fall, I am going to make my first fall recipe of the season for our sweet ladies at bible study tomorrow. I spent way too much time looking through my numerous fall recipes, there were lots of apples, cinnamon, pumpkin, brown sugar, oranges, nutmeg, cranberries...mmmmm. It's so hard to choose! I finally decided on these wonderful looking Melt-In-Your-Mouth Pumpkin Cookies.

I know...yum! I can just imagine it now...a cookie in one hand, coffee in the other hand, a nice breeze blowing through my hair (since I'm outside in my daydream)...sigh...I love fall.

(Oct. 4th) update: These cookies were a hit! They were soooo good! I highly recommend this recipe!

when the Lord answers me

I am so ungrateful and so undeserving of the love and mercy the Lord shows me. I am selfish and so wrapped up in myself and what I am going through that I often miss what the Lord is saying to me. Its always "woe is me..."...blah, blah, blah. I pray prayers everyday. Long ones, short ones, selfish ones, selfless ones, needed ones, encouraged ones, and the list goes on. I even pray what my pastor likes to call "flare prayers". The quick, "help me, Lord!" prayers spoken out of fear. And sometimes I don't pray. And I wait, expecting to hear something, when I've done nothing. But, most times, I pray. And I wait. Not long enough. And I think to myself, 'I hear nothing...I'm not getting any answers, God why aren't you answering me?'. And that's when the Lord gently says to me, "Dear child, you're not listening. Just wait.". I forget that a relationship consists of communication, it's not a one way thing. It's not only talking, but also listening. This is a relationship I have with my Lord and Savior, so why am I neglecting our communication? I wouldn't do this in my marriage, just talk at my husband and then walk out of the room without waiting for a response. I want to hear what my husband has to say, I want to spend time with him. I hold my marriage in very high regard. So, shouldn't I hold my relationship with my Creator, my Redeemer, my heavenly Father to an even higher regard? Jesus wants to spend time with me. He wants to hear from me. But, He also wants me to listen to Him and wait for His answers. This has been on my heart lately and it's amazing how even when this is put on my heart, how disobedient I still am. And yet, grace is shown to me again and again. My Lord loves me. I don't know how or why, but He does. It's amazing though, when I do wait, and I do listen. When I come to Him and lay myself at His feet. The answers are so clear...as clear as if He were sitting right next to me.

...during a recent prayer, I had said, "Lord, why are things so difficult? Why does it have to be so hard?"...He sweetly answered me saying, "Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." (Matt. 7:14). When I say, "How are we going to afford clothes for our children? How are we going to afford groceries this month?"...He tenderly says to me, "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?'...For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." (Matt.6:31-33). When I mumble to myself worrying, "What if I something happens? What if it ends up worse?"...He comforts me by saying, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt. 6:34). When I am wide awake at night, praying, "Lord, please take this fear from me...", He puts His arms around me and says, "Fear not, for I am with you..." (Isaiah 41:10). He is. He is always with me. Always there waiting to hear from me. As should I be...always with an open heart and open ears, waiting to hear from Him.

"Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:14

Rememberance

I originally wanted to write a long heartfelt post about 9/11 and where I was and what I remember...but after watching one too many recaps of that horrific day on CNN and CNBC and whatnot, I just can't seem to find the words. I should have turned the TV off hours ago. It was an awful awful thing done by mean hateful people. 10 years later, and we are all still on edge, as if waiting for the next act of terrorism to fall upon us. So on this day, while we remember those that lost their lives in so many tragic ways, and while the rest of us continue to go on with ours, I say, lets not fear the what ifs. In Psalm 56:11, David writes, "In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?". If we put our lives in Jesus' hands and fully in-trust our lives to Him, we have nothing to fear. That includes terrorists and their could be plots. We can sit around and speculate all we want about what might happen in the future, or what the enemy might be planning, but in reality, we would be living in constant fear, like our enemies (worldly and spiritually) want us too be. We would just be wasting time on mindless nonsense that fuels our fears, when instead we could be living our lives full on for the Lord, redeeming our short little time in this wicked world, showing the love of Jesus Christ to those who are submersed in fear themselves. Put your trust in the Lord and leave the fear to the enemy. That is the only way to keep living our lives after an event such as this one. I pray that the families who lost loved ones on 9/11 find comfort, and I pray that everything works out to the glory of the Lord, that they may see His miraculous works through all of this. Amen. & God BLESS America!

where has the time gone?

I was able to declare that it is officially time to lower the mattress in our little one's crib. This came to be after my little man stood himself up using the sides of the crib to brace himself. He then proceeded to lean over the side of his crib, grab my cup of water sitting on the nightstand, and turning it upside down spilling the contents of the glass on the crib, nightstand and floor. Sigh. He's growing up too fast. Maybe I haven't been paying attention, but one minute he's my little man rolling around on the floor, then next he's starting to crawl and dumping my water out while standing in his crib. He's not the only one. It seems like over night my little girl has gone from this little flower starting to bloom, into this beautiful and extremely smart 4 year old that has a mind of her own. Now she is in school. When did they go from my babies to my kiddos??? Why is it September already?! I have no concept of time anymore. I go to sleep, it's June. I wake up, it's September! My life is in the HOV lane these days, at speeds exceeding the limit. I am reminded of James 4:14, "...For what is your life? It is ever a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." This verse makes me want to slow down...enjoy every single bit of these days as I can. My mind runs a mile a minute and a majority of those thoughts don't even matter. They take away from the time and enjoyment of just watching my kiddos grow up. I need to let go of the nonsense, get rid of the junk, just focus on Jesus and my family that He has so graciously blessed me with. Sometimes it means moving past something that has been holding me down or saying goodbye to someone that might be bringing me down. I need to live up to my full potential as a wife and mother in this short time that the Lord has allowed me to do so.

new beginnings

As the last week of summer vacation comes to an end, it marks the beginning of a very big step in my little girl's life...the start of school. Even though I am homeschooling and I will see her everyday, I still can't help but feel like my little baby is growing up. I was sitting amongst a pile of school activity booklets and lesson plans, trying to figure out how it all worked, when she came running in and immediately started grabbing things and telling me what they were for. She would say things like, "This for counting mommy!" or "Look! A B C...that an apple! A for apple!". I was starting to wonder if they had an AP version of this stuff...something that would be challenging to her, but once I started flipping through the work books, it was made clear in about a month or so she will be getting that challenge. She just amazes me with how smart she is. Her brain works like a sponge, she soaks up every little thing I teach her. In the teacher work book it says to spend the first week or numbers learning colors. It says, 'Your student may not know their colors so spend the first week introducing them.'...I was like, "Ah! she knows them better than I do most days...what do I do for the first week?!". It's all good, I figured it out. We will be playing games...with colors...or something along those lines. I'll figure it out. I'm really excited to start this new chapter. I love doing the lesson plans and getting her "classroom" area all set up. I wish we had more time before school started so I could have everything ready before the first day, but unfortunately our paycheck wasn't on schedule with the first day of school...that and I decided at the last minute to start school earlier than planned, since I want her lessons to coincide with the holidays. I will be better prepared next year for sure. I'm praying for a good first day of school and a smooth semester...not just for my daughter, but for everyone going back to school this week.

goings on

The youth mission team made it home safe, praise the Lord. My hubby had a great time. He had lots of stories to tell me, which I was grateful for. My heart goes out to those people, the victims and their families. If only there was more we could do for them. For now, prayer is all I have to give.

On a different note, our little man is getting so big! He started clapping...mostly to worship songs (love it!)... and army crawling, he's so close to just taking off across the room!...and he said "mama" for the first time a couple days ago! He's very attached to me though...he still won't take a bottle, and he gets quite fussy when I am away from him for long periods of time. We are working on that. So, that means he's going with me to the woman's conference this weekend! So looking forward to that!

I'll leave you with a picture of my little man sucking his toes...because it's just so darn cute!